Thursday, August 30th, 2007
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8:44 pm - Long time
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Wednesday, January 4th, 2006
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8:14 am - Good Morning
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I went to bed rather early last night--trying to get myself ready for work early tomorrow morning at 5:30 am. Howerver I still want to go out tonight--but I know I will be way too tired if I do.
Anywho I talked to Mark about this boy thing last night. he said that it was all my fault--that I must suck in bed and then he told me not to worry about it. Hmmmmm. So then he told me that I shouldn't worry about it at all and let it go till I see or talk to my friend. I decided that ene thought I have already called this guy and told him I would call at the end of the week I am not going to...If it takes him 3 weeks to call me I'm going to take it. It's weird you would think as friends that we wouldn't have to play this little game--but we are, how weird.
Well I go to the dentist at 2pm today and then head back to philadelphia--not knowing what i will do this evening till I go to bed. I slept 12 hours last night excpet when i was tlking to Mark.
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Monday, January 2nd, 2006
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11:38 pm
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So here I am to post again.
Life has been weird, mostly all I do is work...
I am still at Lowes.
I have this guy in my life that supposedly we are just friends. But as of the other night we hooked up again. Now I feel weird. Plus in his drunkeness he said something to me that really hurt my feelings. I feel like sometimes he doesn't really want to talk to me. And I felt the other morning like he just wanted me to go away. Maybe I am just paranoid-but at this moment while my feelings are hurt, I don't feel as though i am out of line--I'm afraid to tell him just how hurt I am.
Maybe that old saying is true-a guy and a girl just can't be good friends--this is a mess,
current mood:  confused
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Monday, August 8th, 2005
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9:08 am - yak-be-yek
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i woke up not ven an hour ago with this horrible pain in my neck...
i guess I slept on it the wrong way--so I can't really move my head now.
And it really hurts,, mehhh.
I went to work late yesterday becaue i felt like crap, and then i left early--it must have been the hamburger from the turnpike.
but I am off for the next 2 days, I plan to clean this dirty old apartment in that time. AlthoughMark still has my vacume.
I had this dream last night about my friend Shok, it was kinda dirty...how do these things happen? I kinda freaked myself out!
Well I am off to do my dishes and then maybe go back to sleep!
current mood:  sore
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Saturday, July 9th, 2005
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12:43 pm - Florida, I am here...
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OK so I thought Florida would be a little more party and sight seeing. But my brother has been at work most of the time and even though it's sunny today and he said "the hurricaine is coming" we still could have went to the beach today. He went running like 4 hours ago and hasn't come back yet. I am bored and tired of being in this house with nobody to talk to.
But today we are supposed to be touring Tallahassee. So that might be fun.
I am mad at Mark...what's new. He's a jerk sometimes. he told me the other night that technically we are both single--because we are not really going out we are just seeing each other--yeah for about 8 MONTHS!!! What kind of crock of shit is that. I dried all night and he made me even feel more worse and made me stay at his house when all I wanted to do was go home. I decided that I am not calling him anymore, if he wants to he can call me. But its not worth it for my piece of mind.
Work is too much-I have no life-not enough sleep-no time or energy to go to the gym.
Well I just got paid yesterday and I haven't seen my bank account yet so hopefully the new position is paying off.
Well its time to brush my teeth and eat something I think.
current mood:  annoyed
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Friday, November 26th, 2004
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5:33 pm - aquadoodle
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Black friday wasn't so bad but it feels like its a monday night.
It's damn cold in my apartment.
I'm havinf mint M&Ms for dinner, mmmmmmmm.
melts in my mouth
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Saturday, November 20th, 2004
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12:48 pm - bored again
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So I'm off from work and what is there to do? I am doing my laundry...watching a movie--it's a long day till 10pm when i can go out to the club.
I think IF, if I just had a person to go see a movie with.
Or even just walk around the mall.
I am tired of being all by myslef all the time.
Even though I like not being at work I even hate it more being alone by myself.
What to do, what to do...
current mood: annoyed
current music: movie time
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Wednesday, November 17th, 2004
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6:15 pm - bored
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I am so bored right now.
I ahve to wait till 10:00 to go out tonight, but tomorrow is my birthday so I'm going to make a night of it. Tonight I will go to south street and get some CDs. then off to the club.
but...I'm bored now!
I lost my Pantera CD :(
I get so tired of TV. But I walked to Rite Aid today...and that was exciting.
current mood: bored
current music: the news
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Monday, November 15th, 2004
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2:09 pm - sorry my e-mail wouldn't let me reply
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For some reason e-mail is fucked up and wouldn't let me reply to anybody.
I'm in brighter spirits today only because I am home at my parents house...because I am getting my car inspected. There is nothing to do here either; and I already slept till 1pm...of coarse that was a case of haiving to change around my schedule again to close all the rest of the week...mehhh.
Since one girl quit in Home Decor I've been back there a lot because there isn't enough covereage-it's a nice change for me; in a way a very different kind of stress. One that I don't know is good or bad. And I still haven't heard anything about the Cabinets position I put in for...but hopefully soon!
I never did balance my checkbook. I'm no good at that-I always forget and I take too much using my debit card and than I forget that I used it--it's a horrible evil circle. Ahhh sooo...
Well I will be out the Wednesday...even though I don't like Nocturn much. It's a day I can go out and I'm going to take full advantage of it.
And oh yeah Thursday is my birthday...maybe I will take a cab!
current mood:  awake
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Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
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7:38 pm
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God damned it all to hell!!!
Why isn't there anything to do on Thursdays or Friday nights around this town ???
or Tuesday nights for that matter--they seem to be the onl;y nights I can ever go out-thank god for CSI.
current mood: bored
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Thursday, September 30th, 2004
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9:45 am - wow Livejournal has changed
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Nifty.
OK so I'm in Philly.
I quit my job painting and am back at Lowes working in the paint department. It's OK--at least I get benefits and 401k. And finally my transfer went through--halleluja.
So I haven't been outmuch because well first of all i am trying to save money. Second of all my hours are all wacky--so That doesn't help much. But it's OK I don't really know amybody anymore except for Mark. mark who is becomeing increasingly friendly to me...weird.
OK I have cramps and must go :)
current mood:  groggy
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Monday, September 6th, 2004
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5:47 pm - damn I am bored
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well i fixed my pants and I am doing my laundery...
i don't want to watch TV and I am way bored.
I am listening to my iTunes and talking to Miguel on messanger.
I am so wired and now I can't even go for a walk because I have to wait for my laundery...walking down 4 flights of stairs because our elevator is broken. Down to the basement that looks like a horror movie!
Meow!
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Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
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7:03 am - yet another day
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so I have made it 2/5th through the wee lets see if I can do it today too!
Although the chacks are nice I am still rooting for Lowes to get my faxex and call me back and give me a job!
I am up so early because the tree cutting company outside my window starts up at 6:30 and the guys are doing donuts and screeching in the parking lot and then yelling in Spanish--all before 7am!! Grrr...
I never did move my stuff in on Sunday. because of this whole "you might want to start looking for another job" thing. Scared that I might have to move out...but I'm going to make a go of it.
But I could really use the furniture too now.
I'm going to try to go out tonight--I am so tired of sitting at home alone. At least I do have a TV now and that helps a lot!
mehh gotta run and get lonch made!
current mood: awake
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Friday, August 20th, 2004
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6:47 am - This job is rough!
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And I'm not being lazy when I say this---it really is. I've spent the last week lifting this 3x the size of me and the same weight; sometimes with help sometimes not. I thinkn'y I've pulled about all the muscles I have so far. The guy who is my immediate supperior is an asshole, he's big macho macho.
I really hope it gets better or I don't know what I'm going to do.
Plus it is so hot and humid that it doesn't help matters at all, you know me-it makes me miserable.
meh! sunday is moving day-I dread it!
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Wednesday, August 11th, 2004
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12:45 pm - Thursday Morning
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So we leave very early tomorrow morning for the Bipolar and Depression Conference i am going to in Pittsburgh.
I am still kinda packing and organizing but I don't want to get a head of myself. I will still have friday night ansd Saturday of next weekend to finish unloading and emptying and moving stuff around before Sunday morning when we move. I'm just board and feel like there is something mre I should be doing now...
Ugh and I could be sleeping in but I've been going o bed so early that i can't--and I woke up this morning with a horrible headache so i took 3 Motrin and feel a little better.
hmmm on another strange note my Mom has tried to quit smoking. again. She wanted to go get cigarettes last night but I told her no. but she was pretty drunk by then. I went to bed so I hope she didn't go out, I didn't see any on the table this morning...
But she did sleep on the couch last night--not quite sure what that was all about. I heard their bedroom door kind make aweird noise while I was in and out of sleep last night. Weird. And dads been acting quite aloof lately--snapping and I think he's mad at me; because I need monitary help moving or something.
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Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
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6:35 pm - yay! for jobs!
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Well I finally got a job. I will be working at Sysko Scenic Studios in Germantown, Philadelphia...it's so exciting! This is the first real "shop" I will be working in and I am the assistant charge artist. Our main gig is the Flower Show at the Convention Center.
I got a small one bedroom in the first apartment building I even looked at! It is a lovely old building. Except taking everything to the 3rd floor is gonna suck! My Dad can't lift anything or rather caryy up or down stairs because of his knee--so I am quite worried about moving day--which won't be till the 22nd and I start on the 16th--so more or less I will be swatting for the first week.
AJ is mad at me because i puked in his car...but at least I just puked on myself. But well now we are even--me for puking and him for leaving me in Philly with no way home.
I hope I don't fuck this up.
Gotta keep my temper under control!
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Monday, July 26th, 2004
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11:48 pm - finally home
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I don't know if I posted that I was home yet--but I am.
I want to go out dancing, I really want to go to NYC, I miss it.
I've been trying to lose weight. I joined Curves last weeks-you have to really push yourself to lose weight there--hmmm but it makes me feel good-because I'm medium size there-not fat like at other gyms.
``
I haven't gotten a job yet. I've sent out about 15 resumes-but have gotten no jobs yet. And it stinks because it costs me so much to send out resumes and make them. And Lowes doesn't have any hours for me!! But I am on unemployment and should get that by the end of this week. $192 a week-pretty much what I got payed at CSF.
Bree makes me mad--she wonders why I don't want to be social but she never invites me out and I am no longer part of their "little group". I feel very alone now. Nothing to look forward to and nobody to talk too. I have been talking to AJ and I will see Scot tomorrow and we are going for 10cent wings, it should be fun.
But I am stressed about the job thing, pelase cross your fingers for me!
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Sunday, July 18th, 2004
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11:45 pm - I'm back!
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So I got back a week Saturday from Colorado. It was very rainy there--but this is very uncommon for the summers in Colorado. It took me about 6 weeks to get used to the altitude and then I came home. I did a lot of priming and that bored me to tears and sometimes irritated me...but Jenny still wants me back next year. We'll see what happens.
I have sent out 2 resumes and 2 more go out tomorrow--I am trying to put out the good word to people I know also who are looking for painters. Lowes, well I don't know exactly what they are doing to me. I can't get a hold of anybody to talk to them about my schedule and then they told me I have to talk to the manager but I can't get a hold of the manager. And well my leave ends on the 20th, that would be Tuesday. If I could at least transfer down here-anywhere then I could have a full-time job for at least a little while. I am really going broke.
Oh well guess I did fuck up my life even more than it had been. Now what to do? I'm pretty miserable with everything. Plus the new medicine the doctor put me on made me gain like 10lbs and now I can't fit into ANYTHING! Ugh--I am gross. Plus it makes me really spacy and want to sleep all the time--badddd. But he did just change it last week to a new one and I hope the side effects change for the better.
This is all I have to say for now ;)
current mood: awake
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Sunday, June 27th, 2004
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12:44 pm - life
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Life as I know it is not going the way I want it to anymore.
Painting here this summer has totally bored me...and I feel incompetent because she won't let me do anything...I could have had a much better job.
But I have no job when I go home.
I'mm kicked out of school; And according to the teacher there I have burned all my bridges with every contact I had there. So essentially I went there for nothing. And had nothing to show for it now. If I wait to go back in 2 years I will be 30--imagine starting my life at 30--not even.
So seeing as though I don't even enjoy painting anymore--I am so burned out. I think it is time for a career change. I feel like I am not giving anything back to society--that I am working for self-serving ends in theatre. I want to do something that makes me feel good about myself and help others--but what can i do?
current mood: stressed
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Saturday, June 19th, 2004
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3:18 pm - Dancing at 5000 ft.
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So I went to Club 2101 on Thursday night--much more like east coast clubs than anything else I have encountered here. But it was really fun. Drank a little too much because I had quite a hangover yesterday morning...this state has really turned me back into a drinker.
Anyway, finally it is raining no longer here, but how long will that last? The forcast says rain for the next week. This kinda stinks because we can't get any work done outside...so the last 2 weeks are going to be HELL.
So I have the rest of the afternoon to do whatever. I may take a little nap, or I may walk around campus and take some pictures of the rocks and building ornimantation-maybe go to the natural history museum. I asked Lisa if she wanted to go out to the club with me tonight--so she has to check on some plans for tomorrow and then inform me of what she is going to do. Of coars e if my tiredness doen't go away I might just be sitting here and reading my book till I pass out.
oOOO pay cell phone bill!!
OK and must put in my reservation for a hotel room for the DBSA conference.
I miss Kevin for some reason...he's been popping into my head alot lately.
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